Tips for being more positive: The power of the compliment
Change the way you look at the world by using the power of the compliment
Do you ever feel like you wake up in the morning and are in a bad mood or just not in a particularly positive mood? Like any object that sets itself in motion, a good mood needs an initial force to drive it. Nature tends to push us towards negativity if we are not careful. This same principle applies to a garden. We need to maintain it if we don’t want it to have weeds. To be in a better mood, there are a thousand ways to do it. Here’s a tip you may not have heard before. Simply seek to make positive and sincere observations about everything around you. Ideally, you should verbalize it as much as possible so that you can create that bond of positivity with others. Being proactive in giving sincere compliments will give you energy and this energy will carry you through the day. This power of the compliment must also be directed at yourself. The more you are able to see qualities in others, the more you will be able to see your own qualities because you have changed your mental software in a way. So, train yourself, be much more kind to yourself. The idea is not to be conciliatory or narcissistic but rather objective. We really tend to be hard on ourselves, which dampens our enthusiasm.
You probably put in a lot of effort every day. You need to reward yourself to create a positive feedback loop. Define the things you enjoy and reward yourself every time you reach a milestone. You are not (and even should not) only treat yourself to material things. It can be trivial things like taking a break, having a coffee, going for a walk or treating yourself to some time off in the country. Be imaginative. Keeping a healthy dose of productivity means being vigilant about fluctuations in your morale. Don’t be afraid to let go, at least for a while, if you’re feeling down. Reward others for their help, cooperation or trust. For some people, compliments don’t matter much, so communicate in the language they hear best (see article).
Tips for being more positive: change your view of fear
Be afraid rather than doubtful
Doubting leads you to fight not to lose while being afraid forces you to fight to win. This is a big difference and you should put this strength to work for you. Doubt acts on the cortex (the part of the brain that is conceptual) while fear originates in your reptilian brain. The reptilian brain is the most archaic, it was the first to be formed in the history of human evolution. It is full of resources that we are not aware of. It is the part of the brain that is most able to react in case of crisis. Conversely, the cortex is the result of a later evolution. It can be paralyzing because of the procrastination it can lead to. Fear is instinctive, it pushes us to act most of the time except that it petrifies us which can be an effective defense mechanism.
Tips for being more positive: There are no bad people, only unhappy people
We are a reflection of our inner world. A vision lacking in compassion would lead us to separate the world into two groups: the good guys and the good girls, or even more dualisms (strong and incompetent etc.). This approach to life inevitably forces us to build walls between ourselves and the rest of the world. The separation between beings leads to a lack of empathy and an inability to recognize in others a little of who we are.
We are the fruit of our conditioning, our experiences and of course to some extent the expression of our DNA. There are, however, common aspirations in every human being, gathered around Maslow’s pyramid of needs. The inability to climb the different rungs of this pyramid can create resentment and ultimately ill-being. This unhappiness can find its expression in violence or at least a form of aggressiveness. This is why it is important to distinguish the person from his or her actions, however bad they may be, because they are the result of a form of ignorance or distress.
We must condemn without any detours the injustices that humans can cause. Nevertheless, we must try to understand what may have led a being to carry out such and such an action in order to recreate a bond with those who may have indulged in such baseness. This connection can bring inclusion and compassion to a society and prevent a better understanding.
When we are immersed all day in the negative emotions of fear, hatred or anger, it is difficult not to act or speak out of character. When we make the deliberate choice to evolve in such emotions, we condemn ourselves to pursue a hellish path that will lead us to more misfortune.
It is not always easy to choose benevolence or appeasement. It is good to express some anger without letting it go further than thoughts or sometimes words. Choosing not to indulge in destructive emotions is the only way to create a world of harmony.