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When Someone Reacts Strangely, It’s Often Not Your Fault

We can be amazed at the way people treat us. They can be dismissive, disrespectful and it can hurt. If we dig deeper, we often realize that people react this way out of their own weakness. They have ego problems, soul wounds, dissatisfaction that ultimately make them unpleasant.

Learn To Do Counter-Intuitive Things

Most of our moral education consists in doing things that go against our first thought. Someone being mean is a good example. An instant way to function would be to be aggressive and belligerent towards anyone who shows us any form of neglect towards ourselves. The problem is that you can quickly come into conflict with a whole bunch of people if you do that. The second option is to try and put yourself in the shoes of the person who has behaved in this way, to find out what kind of signal you have sent them that they have the right to behave in this way.

Change Your Signals To Change People’s Behavior

Society is a game of masks and roles; in short, it pushes us into a form of hypocrisy. Some societies are more hypocritical than others. When you live in a society that values hypocrisy, you have to present yourself in a different light from who you really are. It’s a bit tiring. When you don’t want to take part in this constant staging, it can make you feel ostracized in a way.

Choose A Company That Suits Your Level Of Tolerance To Hypocrisy

Societies vary in sophistication. They each have their own social rules, which are the fruit of their history, their economy, their geography and so many other factors. On your own, you won’t be able to reverse the trends that influence the way a society operates. The most immediate thing is to find a company that suits you best, according to the criteria you’ve defined, or those you’ve become aware of by force of circumstance.

Hypocrisy Is A Weakness Or An Adaptation

When you work for a company, the rules are often more tacit than formal. It’s up to you to discover them. For certain reasons, a corporate culture might be inclined to encourage hypocritical behavior as a sign of submission to the established order and its hierarchy. When you take society as a whole, you follow a similar logic: hypocrisy can be the mark of adherence to the rules that govern the group as a whole. Because there is submission, and because it may come into direct conflict with the individual’s inner values, we can consider that concessions are being made. In some cases, we might speak of weakness when these concessions are accompanied by a sense of wrongdoing.

People Are Trapped By The Rules They Have Come To Accept

Because we accept rules that have been hammered into us over and over again, we forget that we’re free to go elsewhere if other rules don’t suit us better. The fear of not meeting one’s own material needs is a strong enough reason to impose conformity on the majority of the population. The impression that by breaking the rules, you risk losing your social status can be chilling. This is also why people tend to reject those who deviate a little from conventional standards: they don’t want to be associated with someone who would cause them to lose their status.

So Yes, People Can Be Nasty

Because people are afraid of losing their status or even their livelihood, they can be willingly aggressive or aloof. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. If it’s not fear that guides your choices, there’s no point in trying to get close to people who live like this. They may reject you if conditions change. Don’t let people’s malice get to you.

Protect Yourself But Remain Compassionate

Since many people are stuck in the survival stage, there’s no point in befriending them if they don’t want to move up Maslow’s pyramid of needs. Protect yourself, because their venom is always corrosive, and don’t expose yourself to hostile people unnecessarily. On the other hand, keep your benevolence and sense of forgiveness: you know they don’t have the same aspirations as you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve your light. Give of your light when you can, but don’t expect anything in return, at the risk of being disappointed.

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