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Should you tolerate toxic people in your life?


The best way to avoid being eaten by the dragon is not to go where he is. Chinese proverb

You may have superpowers, but there are people who can act on you like kryptonite.

Seeing beyond appearances

Toxic people are everywhere, in our family, at work, in our circle of friends and eventually we are all a little toxic for one or more others. Someone is toxic when they cause negative emotion, discomfort or bring up dark thoughts. This person may turn out to be only the detonator of something latent in us. That said, repeated contact can also create a problem that wasn’t there in the first place, which is why it is important to assess the benevolence of the people around you and their hidden intentions beyond appearances.

Two approaches to energy vampires

We can’t really escape toxic people, we can avoid them or rise up in the air like a balloon in front of a hideous toad whose drool is no longer within our reach. Getting out of difficult situations with problematic people is crucial. Most of the time, this implies a purification that takes place in intimacy, since it is almost always with external contact that we become intoxicated. To resolve the impossibility of avoiding certain people, we must limit contact with them as much as possible once we have identified that an irrational hatred is directed towards us. Basically, a toxic person acts like an energy thief: he/she tries to take elsewhere the energy that he/she cannot take in a healthy and benevolent way. Often, dominant, aggressive, narcissistic or simply obnoxious behaviors will be encountered in these people. There are two approaches we can use to keep them at bay: ignore them or counter-attack them, while wishing them in our heart of hearts to sincerely get better so as not to fall into the trap of the spiral of negativity they set for us.

These two techniques are to be used gradually. First of all, if they are unpleasant, we can ignore them while sincerely wishing them a good psychological or spiritual recovery. Finally, if he shows himself to be threatening, we must let him know that he has come across the wrong person and that certain limits must not be exceeded: to counter-attack is to let him know that he will lose feathers in an altercation with us.

Communicate your strength

Toxic people are quite despicable because they only attack people they feel are weaker than themselves. They mistake kindness for weakness. Their mental software is completely out of whack. The idea is not to start thinking like them by becoming malicious in turn, but to know how to show your fangs when you have to, knowing that if they don’t understand kindness, firmness and a frontal relationship are often a language they understand much better. Show them that you’re selling yourself short and that they have a lot to lose by messing with you. Confront them with kindness but boldness, they will look elsewhere for a victim. Be in conflict like the sea in the middle of a storm: seemingly agitated but in reality of an Olympian calm in the depth. Your determination and ardor will only be a deterrent that will make him/her turn back. Be abrasive but phlegmatic at the same time so that people don’t know what to expect with you and ultimately prefer to leave you alone.

Recharge your batteries

Of course, it is sad to have to do this. We live, unfortunately, in societies where hatred can be deeply rooted. It originates in many places, but it is futile to search for it: nothing should justify gratuitous malice. On the contrary, it is much better to keep alive a daily ritual that allows us to recharge our batteries. This can be through prayer, meditation, walks in nature, jogging, a favorite hobby etc. It is essential to have a firmly rooted habit that brings us both serenity and strength, otherwise we risk having all our vital energy sucked out and not being able to get back on track on a daily basis.

There is no right or wrong reaction, as long as there is a reaction. In a clash with a toxic person, the worst thing that can happen is to become passive. Most of the time, you should anticipate the confrontation and avoid it if it can be avoided. However, if you are left with no choice but to counterattack, then you must throw yourself into the battle with firmness and intensity.

In conclusion

To be able to live happily, most of the time, you have to know how to live hidden as the saying goes. For introverts, it is difficult to recharge their batteries by contact with the outside world. On the contrary, it is often in intimacy that we manage to refuel our energy. It’s up to you to find the right ratio of time spent outside and at home. Sometimes the only protective bubble we have is our bedroom, which offers us both rest and tranquility. It is important to make serenity a pillar of our life. Without it, we cannot be happy. That’s why we need to know what activities contribute to it while keeping us away from harmful people. This involves clarity and resolution. Learning to be happy is a learning process that takes time, but it is the most important one.

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