Personal development is about improving ourselves and changing our relationship with the world. The idea is to draw on the experiences of others in order to save time on our learning. The other is no longer an enemy or a rival, on the contrary he becomes a source of knowledge and this, whatever the individual. We don’t look at them as others, but rather as a mirror of ourselves. Indeed, we know that in different circumstances, we could have been this other. Thus, the defects that we detect are no longer the object of judgments or condemnations on our part. We observe these faults and make them a subject for reflection: do we have these faults? In the same way, the qualities that we detect are a source of joy and not of jealousy. We then ask ourselves, how did this person develop such beauty in his character? We take them as a model and try to emulate their qualities. Finally, the world around us becomes an inverted Garden of Eden where every situation, every individual is a tree of non-dualistic knowledge with dozens of fruits that we eat to our heart’s content. It is inverted because we detach ourselves from the vision of a world separated into two groups, that of good and that of evil, but rather we see it as an emanation from the same source. Good and evil are no longer separate, they are part of a great whole. This explains why if you find yourself criticizing or simply judging others, it is perhaps because you are not in this process of personal development.
Criticizing is a form of distraction: instead of focusing our attention on ourselves, we prefer to look elsewhere. This saves us the work that usually follows self-criticism. If I judge others, I am not doing anything productive. Remonstrances or reproaches that I may address to others rarely have a motivating effect. On the other hand, if I look at myself critically and not complacently, I give myself the best chance to take action and make a change.
Finally, if you hold back from making any judgments, you can still have a positive impact on others, as your caring and restraint can be a source of inspiration.
