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Making the right choices

faire un choix

We are all at a crossroads in our lives where we sometimes have to make a choice that takes us in one direction or another. It can be the choice of our studies, the career we wish to embrace, the place where we want to live or the person with whom we wish to spend the rest of our lives. This difficulty is even greater because it is not always easy to talk about it around you. The family is not always a serene cocoon in which one can confide its secrets without risk. In the same way, it is not always easy to find an attentive ear that has both empathy and the ability to really understand our problem because our lives are so different. Of course, there are coaches who can have the experience, knowledge and compassion to help us find a solution to our problems, but this is not always a solution that everyone can afford. Let’s look at a slightly unconventional way to find an answer to our questions. It is to create a council of thought leaders.

What is a mastermind council?

It’s a list of people you’ve chosen, living or dead, who have attributes you value or a background you particularly admire. They may be people you know, but the point of this exercise is that they are not really people you know. If they were your friends, it would be better to ask them directly. Here you will select a limited group of people whom you admire and to whom you will virtually ask your most intimate questions on a regular basis and try to imagine what their answer might be.

How to build a board of thought leaders?

If you’re just starting out, you don’t need to have a huge list of people to whom you’ll ask your questions virtually. You can start by selecting just one person you’d like to follow up on. You should select this person because you admire his or her character, courage, nobility, tenacity, ability to take on challenges, etc. You don’t have to try to find someone perfect, they just have to have a quality that you want to develop in yourself.

Take stock of the things you would like to improve

Let’s imagine that you don’t have anyone in mind, you just have to make your own inventory, that is to say that you try to look at yourself with a maximum of objectivity. What are your qualities? What are your faults? Which defect do you wish to fight? What quality do you want to develop? You only need to start with one thing.

Select the right people

Let’s say you find that you are shy and you want to develop your courage. You need to find people who have embodied this idea in their lives. The idea is to be broad enough in your search at the beginning, you should not stop on the first result that Google will give you, you must go beyond. A good tip is to quickly read the Wikipedia pages of candidates who seem “qualified for the position”. Once you have a shortlist (no more than 5 people for example), you now need to read as much as you can about these people. You can read their biographies if there are any, listen to interviews if they have given any, get a feel for their work and background. The more you do this exercise, the more you will “download” the mental software of the person you want to be like. This may take time of course, but by doing so, you will be able to accumulate dozens and dozens of patterns that could potentially merge with situations you have found yourself in the past.

Accumulating mental patterns

By accumulating these patterns, you will be able to act under the influence of a guide indirectly who will be able to give you the instructions to follow in this or that case. The more knowledge you accumulate, the more you will have the impression of acting with the support of a tribe of great masters, in short you will never feel alone.

Repeat the exercise with other people

The more you read, the more you will potentially meet new guides who will also help you make the right choices in your life, which is why it is always a good idea to have a notebook and a pen with you to write down the names of people who could serve as inspiration. As you make discoveries, you will be able to grow your tribe of advisors who will help you in different aspects of your life.
Convene the Council of Elders

At any time during the day, you can call upon this council of elders to help you answer an important question you have. Ideally, it is best to ask the qualified expert on the subject. For example, if you are unsure whether to pursue a research career or a career in industry, it is best to call on someone who has had a similar journey or at least asked similar questions at some point in their life.

Work in cycles, themes and time periods

If you want to develop a particular quality, there is no point in flitting around and constantly changing themes in your life. It is much more interesting and effective to work by theme over a longer or shorter period of time so that its teachings permeate you. Let’s say you want to be more studious, it is better to read or listen to people who have expressed this quality only before wanting to develop your creativity for example. You might not get the boost that full concentration gives you. It takes time to break bad habits; allow about 60 days to get enough of the spirit of this quality in the people you want to emulate.

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