Dogs sniff each other to see if they can trust each other. What about humans, whether they live in Manila or Porto Alegre?
Big smiles and sweet looks can be traps for the unwary. The rules that govern the bonds between members of a group differ greatly from one culture to another, which in itself limits our horizons somewhat. In fact, to create trust with anyone is illusory, it would be like agreeing to lend your house to someone you have only spoken to by walkie-talkie.
On the other hand, trust is alienating because it ties us to a person like the handles between them of a handcuffed prisoner.
Trust is demanding, it puts pressure on our shoulders that we can feel is too heavy. The slightest disappointment can therefore seem like a catastrophe. There is a temptation to resort to fraudulent means to keep that trust.
The same is true for a leader whose status and role are based solely on the trust of his team. He may have a perfect track record, but if the trust is not there, nothing will happen. A restaurant can have the best food, but if he can’t convey that idea to the passers-by, his business won’t go far.
Holding someone close to you can relieve almost any pain in the world. If you don’t have the ability to create trust around you, you can be very lonely and a millionaire’s life can turn into an ordeal, far beyond the rage of driving a beautiful car that has been scratched and the perpetrator has remained anonymous.
Trust is not easy to gain, especially if you have a lot of baggage. Putting on perfume can’t make you forget a rancid smell that lingers when you’ve decided not to wash up anymore.
To go camping, you have to be friendly and not look too much. To surround yourself with a group of friends, you have to know how to be useful and demanding at the same time.
