We must be wary of living according to a dualistic way of thinking since it prevents nuances and can hinder our development for many years. There are of course philosophical and religious influences to dualistic thinking, nevertheless let us take an interest in this “winner / loser” diptych which most often comes to us from across the Atlantic.
The notion of winner and loser was born in a society – American – facing strong social inequalities, with the idea that those who succeed are those who present qualities of domination – mostly male – such as aggressiveness, self-assertion, propensity to conflict etc. The notion of winner and loser was born in a society – American – facing strong social inequalities. This idea has been amplified by research carried out by primatologists who have observed the functioning of gorilla groups dominated by alpha males. In front of these discoveries, an immediate parallel was found between human and primate societies, making us forget in passing that man is not just a primate…
The desire for social success and a certain ignorance lead millions of people to literally mimic the supposedly alpha traits. This vision can be very appealing in adolescence because it is an age when we fear exclusion above all else.
Why is the winner-loser ideology harmful?
First and foremost because it comes to reject our own humanity through ignorance of human and social mechanisms.
Thus, in the logic of this thinking, it would be appropriate to reject kindness, generosity, sacrifice, etc., as well as to reject the idea of the “winner-loser” ideology. Indeed, this ideology is based on the notion of gain and profit: if I give, I lose, it is the other who wins.
There is an ignorance because giving is not a transaction, it is the fruit an emanation. One gives because one has reached a sufficient level of well-being that one finds oneself in a certain state of abundance. Conversely, the one who counts his least acts of generosity is in a state of scarcity, to give is dangerous. Of course, it is because people abuse our kindness that we come to despise this value.
In many places, others are toxic and can’t help but “steal” our energy etc. Of course, we must protect ourselves from people who cannot manage to be in a state of abundance and who turn into predators. Nevertheless, we must not give them more importance than that, at the risk of forgetting that we are the masters of our own energy and that we can “recharge our batteries” ourselves as long as we devote some time to it every day. Having a spiritual and philosophical life helps us to overcome the withered vision of life proposed by the winner-loser ideology. Nevertheless, if we abandon our daily spiritual routine, this ideology becomes our only lifeline in a sea of sharks, while meditation or prayer allows us to fly over the seas like an albatross.
