The idea of separation frightens us, especially when we didn’t start it. It doesn’t matter if we don’t see each other again, whether in friendship or in love, it is often a sign that a lesson has been learned, the other wants to learn more.
We have different life trajectories, but that is also why we come to meet each other one day. An encounter can be an inflection point towards a profound change in our lives: there is a before and an after.
We all have to learn from others whose lives can be like an open book. Sometimes we think that reading someone’s book can be done in a blink of an eye, so great are our prejudices. Humans are more complex than that. We must be careful not to jump on the first book that comes along because we can find ourselves in a noir novel without knowing it and be contaminated by the tragic nature of the story.
Our friends do not belong to us, and the same is true of our friends. The most beautiful thing we can do is to become an inspiring book for them, so that it can serve as a springboard for their lives. Expectations are not desirable because they can distract from a relationship whose initial goal is mutual growth.
Just as any martial arts or academic master aspires to be surpassed by his students, a true friend or lover must desire to have a positive transformative effect on the other. In every sincere relationship, you can imagine the other as that little bird you have fed and who will one day fly away on his own. Don’t lament an apparent separation. Although you are absent, your teachings will indelibly mark the broken surface ties of your relationship.
Think of yourself as a springboard rather than a sinkhole or downhill slope. Sometimes we just need a meeting to give our lives a new lease on life. We can choose to be that impulse toward a new life trajectory, without expecting anything in return, except perhaps the only satisfaction of having done well.
