The culturally dominant vision of love is based on the idea of a romantic encounter, marked by love at first sight and passion. Yet wherever this vision has prevailed, the marital bond has weakened: countries that have embraced it have seen their divorce rates soar to dizzying levels—over 80% in Spain and over 90% in Portugal, according to some sources.…
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Our memory deceives us: we think we know, yet time and distance shape our recollections, idealizing people, eras, and places. This cognitive bias—natural and almost necessary—sweetens the past to make the present bearable. But when it comes to the past, an uncompromising realism is required: your decisions will become more effective, freed from the grip of emotion in favor of…
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When you look closely at the lives of the people most admired—movie stars, athletes, public figures—you start to see that many of them live inside a beautifully decorated cage. The things most of us take for granted—going to the grocery store, walking down the street unnoticed, owning our time—are luxuries they can no longer enjoy. Fame gives them visibility, but…
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Memory alters reality as it was lived and tends to smooth out all its rough edges: what was negative fades away, leaving only a lukewarm or even pleasant recollection, while what was positive is sometimes simply forgotten. Overall, memory makes the past gentler, which partly explains why it becomes easier to forgive people as time goes by. However, this alteration…
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People usually become jerks because they were victims of abuse when they were young and never managed to recover from it. Of course, being a victim is not an excuse: everyone can do some inner work to free themselves from their traumas. Still, it is always premature to judge someone without making at least a small effort to put yourself…
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The family is primarily built on ideas of commitment and loyalty. A society is an assembly of families; one could therefore say that it is nothing more than the outcome of millions of daily acts of commitment and loyalty. The crisis of today’s society could, in the end, stem from a crisis of commitment and loyalty. How can we find…
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People tend to respect those who are rare, those who appear elusive. From this mystery arises a sense of danger, and from danger comes respect. Sometimes, one must be willing to walk away in order to be truly valued. People will show you greater consideration when they know, for example, that you are capable of anger or of clearly expressing…
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I. THE FOUNDATIONS OF ALTRUISM Altruism, at the heart of Matthieu Ricard’s reflections in Plaidoyer pour l’altruisme, is based on scientific, psychological and philosophical foundations that explain its essential role in building a more just and harmonious world. These include pillars such as empathy, compassion, love and benevolence. This set of universal human dispositions constitutes an essential foundation for understanding…
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We all need love to live, and without this ingredient, we wither like dried flowers. Our soul needs love, and it partly comes from the people who love us. What we don’t realize is that we are strong because of the love given to us selflessly. Out of ignorance, we believe we are stronger than we actually are, and it…
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The importance of theory in learning anything Love is a word so overused that we no longer really know what it’s about. When we think of love, it often involves a certain level of sexualization. Yet, love primarily exists without sex, and alas, there is a lot of sex without love. The necessary education of hearts If the world…
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