Let Yourself Be Fooled—That’s How Selection Works

The “Fool” Technique

“If you are kind, people will take advantage of you.” Well, this rule is perfect, and it should encourage you to be kind. Why? Simply because it allows you to quickly form an opinion about someone.

If someone takes your gestures of kindness as weakness and treats you with contempt, you immediately know you’re dealing with a boor, a lout, or even a complete scoundrel. Kindness is a great way to quickly identify those who are not good for you.

Do not rely on what people say. Watch carefully how they react to your good deeds.

Once you have identified the underdeveloped people, simply stop associating with them

If the previously quoted adage—true as it is—feels harsh, it’s because most people keep acting kindly toward those who mistreat them. This approach is a spiritual ideal, like Jesus’, but very few do it wholeheartedly. You should act with kindness as long as it comes from love, not out of obligation.

Where Jesus excelled was in sincerely loving, with deep compassion, even those who hated him. If you cannot achieve such a feat, the best thing is to stop associating with jerks as soon as you identify them.

The goal is not to be naively kind, no. The idea is to open doors and see how people react, like in judo. Kindness is a test—a sort of radar—that allows you to quickly unmask malicious individuals. It’s like offering your back… only to execute an “ippon seoi nage.”

Judo as a Model

Judo is a martial art that could be considered peaceful. As long as no one attacks a judoka, nothing happens to them. But if someone attacks, it’s their own energy that brings them down.

Being Naïve to Observe

It’s not always necessary to act naïve, especially if you already know who you’re dealing with. However, if you don’t yet have a clear opinion about someone, it’s always good to be kind and generous to observe their reaction.

Sometimes, you’ll have to wait, because some people hide their true nature longer than expected. But often, being kind is enough for a rude person to reveal their true face.

The idea is not to fake kindness—you must be genuinely benevolent—but you should also know when to distance yourself from those who mistreat you once they start taking advantage of you.

Some situations are not suited for this strategy, for example, when you briefly interact with a shopkeeper. Being kind takes time and attention, which explains why we can’t always afford to do it constantly.

Filter and Retain: The Art of Decanting

You’ll see how easy it is to eliminate most people around you using this technique. It saves you an incredible amount of time to unmask those who aren’t worth it.

In that sense, being kind and appearing “foolish” is an undeniable advantage. Famous or powerful people don’t have this privilege—their reputation precedes them, inspiring fear and reverence. They are constantly surrounded by flatterers and courtiers, which makes sorting through people harder.

For them, this technique still works, but it takes more time. Often, they need to go through an anonymous third party, but this requires complete trust in that person.

By applying this strategy, you will easily eliminate about 70% of people. To keep only 5% in your close circle, there are two other methods:

Being in a Vulnerable Position or Giving the Other Person Relative Power

Power corrupts, and relative power does too. Relative power means the power someone holds in a specific context compared to another.

Imagine you have a friend you’ve known for some time, and you’ve lent them money. Logic would suggest that the lender is in a position of strength. However, dishonest people will often think the opposite and exploit the situation.

The fact that they owe you money might, for some, give them the illusion of having power over you. They believe they can manipulate you. Thus, by giving someone relative power, you find a way to test them differently.

There are other ways to give relative power: falling ill, lending a valuable object, sharing a secret, expressing love or esteem, etc.

Being kind is, in reality, a subtle way to grant relative power to others. Many fail to see the strength hidden behind generosity, benevolence, or compassion.