Before Making Love, One Must Practice Love

The importance of theory in learning anything

Love is a word so overused that we no longer really know what it’s about. When we think of love, it often involves a certain level of sexualization. Yet, love primarily exists without sex, and alas, there is a lot of sex without love.

The necessary education of hearts

If the world has become lascivious, it’s not only because people no longer learn to control themselves, but mainly because the true nature of love has not been taught. Religion or spirituality traditionally served this purpose. However, it is now in sharp decline in so-called developed countries, and we now see almost everywhere the supremacy of the senses taking over the mind. We are reconnecting with our animal nature, which had been mastered, and we open again this Pandora’s box that pours out a flow of sensuality to which many succumb. The body is not the heart, just as the heart is not the mind. Perfect love is that which begins in the mind, descends to the heart, and finally expresses itself through the body. Many think they can achieve completeness by proceeding in the reverse order; alas, it is often an illusion because most people remain stuck in sensuality and will hardly move beyond this stage to make their love more sublime and subtle.

To love in the best way possible, one must learn to control oneself

If one does not master one’s body, one is subject to all sorts of torment that make us forget our duty, our honor, and our dignity. The prerequisite for any elevation lies in controlling our instincts to prevent a blockage of our energy (or kundalini in the Hindu tradition). When we fail to elevate this energy to higher levels, we degrade ourselves and are incapable of experiencing noble love.

Surpassing lower levels with words

Before anything, to surpass the lower dimensions of what we unjustly call love, it would be appropriate to rename adequately what these purely bodily or emotional manifestations are. Thus, we could talk about lust, lasciviousness, or even debauchery, in contrast to love, which is imbued with sacrifice, a holistic approach to the person, or even selfless benevolence. By using different words and educating ourselves to distinguish true love from its ersatz, we can trigger a profound change in our relationship with others and with ourselves.